There’s something powerful about putting words to the life you want to build—especially when you’re separated by prison walls. For couples navigating incarceration, the future can feel uncertain, fragmented by policies, timelines, and distance. But one way to reclaim a sense of control and connection is by creating a shared vision letter.

This isn’t just a love letter. It’s not a list of goals or a daydream. It’s an intentional conversation captured on paper. A declaration of “we’re in this together” with purpose, clarity, and hope. And maybe most importantly, it’s something you can return to again and again when things feel off course.

What Is a Shared Vision Letter?

A shared vision letter is a forward-looking message written between you and your incarcerated partner. It outlines what you both want your life to look like, both during and after incarceration. It includes values, goals, dreams, and agreements about how you will show up for one another.

It can be serious, aspirational, playful, or poetic—whatever feels authentic to your relationship. But at its core, this letter is a tool for alignment. It can help clarify priorities, address unspoken fears, and keep you emotionally tethered when physical presence isn’t possible.

Why It Matters

In prison relationships, communication is everything. The distance and the limitations create fertile ground for misunderstandings and disconnection. A shared vision letter doesn’t solve those problems, but it does offer a kind of blueprint. Something you both agree to revisit, revise, and recommit to as life unfolds.

Many partners say that writing this type of letter brought them closer, because it forced them to talk about things they hadn’t named before. What does trust look like for you right now? What do you need from each other emotionally? What are you both working toward, even if the timelines are different?

These are not easy questions. But answering them, even imperfectly, deepens your sense of shared purpose.

How to Start the Conversation

Before you write, talk.

If you’re able to have a phone call or video visit, use that time to start discussing your shared vision. Here are a few starter questions:

• What do we each want for ourselves in the next year?
• What do we want for us in the next five?
• What habits or values matter most in our relationship?
• What are we willing to work on together or let go of?
• How do we want to support each other emotionally, practically, spiritually?

If a conversation isn’t possible, consider sending a short message first. Let your partner know you’re interested in writing a shared letter and ask if they’d like to do it together.

Writing the Letter

There’s no single format for a shared vision letter, but here’s one approach that many find helpful:

1. Open with your “why.”
Start with the purpose behind the letter. Explain why you wanted to write it and what it means to you.

2. Reflect on the present.
Name where you are right now as a couple. Acknowledge the hardships without letting them overshadow the strength it takes to keep choosing each other.

3. Describe your shared vision.
Use specific, concrete language. What kind of life do you want to build? What does a day in that life look like? How do you want to treat each other, resolve conflict, celebrate wins?

4. Set intentions, not expectations.
Intentions are about effort, not perfection. Instead of saying “you will always call me twice a week,” try “I hope we continue prioritizing time to connect.”

5. Make space for both of your voices.
If you’re sending the letter first, invite your partner to write a response or add to the vision. If they’re the one writing first, respond in kind. The goal is co-authorship, even if it happens over several letters.

6. End with recommitment.
Close by affirming your choice to move forward together. You might also suggest revisiting the letter in six months to see what’s shifted or stayed the same.

Example Excerpt

“I see us waking up together, even if it’s years away. I see us cooking a late breakfast, arguing about whether the eggs should be scrambled or fried. I see laughter. I see our kids—or nieces or godchildren—sprawled on the couch while we plan a weekend trip. I see us showing up for our community. I see healing. I don’t know how we’ll get there, but I know I want to walk that path with you.”

Keeping It Alive

Once the letter is complete, don’t treat it like a one-time exercise. Revisit it. Add to it. Talk about what’s changed or stayed the same. Keep it nearby when you’re struggling to see the bigger picture.

This letter can live in your heart as much as in a drawer or journal. It can be your anchor in stormy moments and your roadmap when the world starts to shift in your favor.

Final Thought

Writing a shared vision letter won’t erase the reality of incarceration. But it can give shape to the future you’re still allowed to dream about. It’s a reminder that your love is not frozen in time. That even now, even here, you get to build something.

And building begins with a single word on a page.