Having a loved one incarcerated is an emotional rollercoaster for both partners. Feelings of anger, grief, shame, and loneliness are common for prison wives and it’s crucial to find healthy outlets for these emotions. One highly recommended coping tool is journaling – writing down your thoughts and feelings in a private, judgment-free space. Mental health experts note that journaling can help you gain control of overwhelming emotions and improve your mental well-being. In fact, writing in a journal about your feelings or even keeping a gratitude list is suggested as a self-care strategy for those with an incarcerated loved one. Research has shown that using guided journal prompts can enhance your self-reflection and help reframe negative thoughts, leading to improved self-understanding and emotional regulation. In other words, journaling provides a cathartic release for pent-up feelings and brings clarity and calm when life feels chaotic.

Below, we present one comprehensive 30-day journaling plans: one for prison wives (focused on self-reflection and emotional processing) and next post, one for couples to work on together (a guided project done separately by each partner, then exchanged at the end of the 30 days). These challenges are designed to help you process your emotions, practice self-care, and strengthen your bond despite the distance. Set aside a few minutes each day to write, and remember that this is your personal space – be honest and kind to yourself. By the end of the 30 days, you may find you have greater insight, reduced stress, and a tangible record of your growth and hope for the future. Let’s get started.

Part 1: 30-Day Journal Prompts for Prison Wives (Self-Reflection & Emotional Processing)

How to Use These Prompts: These daily prompts are crafted to help you honor your feelings and nurture your well-being during your spouse’s incarceration. Try to write every day, even if only a few paragraphs – consistency can amplify journaling’s benefits. Find a quiet moment for yourself, perhaps with a cup of tea, and let your thoughts flow without self-censorship. Remember, journaling is a proven tool to manage anxiety, reduce stress, and cope with depression by helping you express and organize your thoughts. It’s normal to experience a whirlwind of emotions as a prison wife; writing them down can bring a sense of order when your world feels chaotic. Focus primarily on self-reflection and emotional processing – this is about you and caring for your mental health, though a few prompts will gently touch on your relationship as part of your healing journey.

Check out the NEXT blog post for PART 2, a Couple Guided Journaling Challenge

30 Daily Prompts: (Day 1 corresponds to Day 1 of the challenge, but you can start any time and move at your own pace.)

1. Day 1: Acknowledge Your Emotions. What emotions have you been experiencing since your loved one’s incarceration? Write freely about everything you feel – anger, sadness, fear, loneliness, even relief or hope. Allow yourself to name and feel these emotions without judgment. Recognizing your feelings is the first step in processing them.
2. Day 2: Navigating Anger and Frustration. If you feel anger – whether at the situation, your spouse, the justice system, or even yourself – describe why you feel this way. How have these frustrations affected you? Acknowledge that anger is natural, and brainstorm one healthy way to release or cope with it (for example, through writing, exercise, or talking to a friend).
3. Day 3: Confronting Sadness and Loss. Write about the sense of loss or sadness you carry. You might be grieving the day-to-day life you had or the plans put on hold. What do you miss the most? Let the tears flow on the page if they come. Consider ending your entry with a gentle reminder to yourself that it’s okay to mourn these losses and that brighter days can still lie ahead.
4. Day 4: Loneliness and Connection. Describe the moments you feel most alone. What triggers your loneliness – is it coming home to an empty space, or attending events solo? After pouring out those feelings, list any sources of comfort or connection you do have (friends, family, pets, faith, online support groups, etc.). This can remind you that while your partner is absent, you are not truly alone.
5. Day 5: Guilt and Resentment. Explore any guilt or resentment you might harbor. Perhaps you feel guilty for not being able to “fix” things, or you resent the situation you’ve been put in. It’s important to get these complex feelings on paper. Ask yourself: are these feelings justified or are you taking on blame that isn’t yours? How might you show yourself forgiveness or understanding in this situation?
6. Day 6: Self-Care Check-In. How are you taking care of yourself right now? List any self-care activities you currently practice (even small ones like taking a hot bath, watching a favorite show, or going for a walk). Then, brainstorm some additional ways to nurture your mental and physical health. Remember that caring for your own well-being is not selfish – it’s necessary, and it enables you to stay strong.
7. Day 7: Gratitude in Difficult Times. It might sound counterintuitive, but finding gratitude can significantly boost your resilience. Today, list 5 things you’re grateful for, however small. They could be supportive people in your life, personal strengths, a kind gesture someone showed you, or even just a sunny day. Reflect on how these points of gratitude make you feel. Did this exercise lift your mood at all?
8. Day 8: Your Support System. Who can you rely on for support (emotional or practical) during this time? Write about the friends, family members, support groups, or counselors who have helped you, or even a community of prison wives who understand you. How have they made a difference? If you’ve been isolating yourself, consider if there’s someone you could reach out to. Sometimes simply acknowledging that support is available can make you feel less overwhelmed.
9. Day 9: Dear Future Me. Write a letter to yourself one year from now. Imagine you’ve made it through this challenging time with grace. What do you hope will be different in your emotional state or life circumstances? Offer your future self encouragement, acknowledging the strength it takes to love someone in prison. This exercise can build hope by picturing yourself on the other side of the struggle.
10. Day 10: Celebrating Small Victories. Think of a recent day or moment when you felt you handled things well – even if it’s as simple as managing a stressful phone call with patience or getting through a tough day at work. Describe that small victory. How did you manage it, and what does that say about your strengths? Recognizing your resilience in everyday moments is important for your self-esteem.
11. Day 11: Identity Beyond “Prison Wife.” It’s easy to feel like your entire identity revolves around your spouse’s incarceration, but you are more than a “prison wife.” Who else are you? Write about your roles, traits, and passions outside of this situation – perhaps you’re a mother, a professional, a creative soul, an adventurer at heart. Reflect on how you can nurture these aspects of yourself. Your life has value and meaning independent of your partner’s circumstances.
12. Day 12: What Brings You Joy? Make a list of activities, people, or memories that bring a genuine smile to your face. These could be hobbies you enjoy, favorite books or music, spiritual practices, or fond childhood memories. Then, choose one item from your list and elaborate: why does it bring you joy, and how might you incorporate more of this into your life right now? Prioritizing moments of joy can help balance out the stress.
13. Day 13: A Favorite Memory with Your Spouse. Recall a happy memory you shared with your spouse that gives you comfort now. Describe it in detail – what you did, how you felt, why it’s so meaningful. Allow yourself to feel the warmth of that moment. Though it might bring tears as well, reminiscing on positive memories can remind you of the love that continues to exist, and that can be a source of strength.
14. Day 14: Love and Appreciation. Even though your partner is away, the love you share is still a part of your daily life. Take some time to list the qualities you appreciate about your spouse or the ways they have supported you (before or even during incarceration). You might note things like their sense of humor, their encouragement in the past, or how their phone calls lift your spirits. Acknowledging the good can be healing – it reinforces why you’re enduring this hardship and what you value in your relationship.
15. Day 15: Hopes for the Future (Relationship Edition). What do you hope for in your relationship moving forward? Write about your dreams for when you are reunited – how do you imagine rebuilding your life together? You can be practical (e.g., “I hope we will communicate more openly” or “I want us to start a family or project when this is over”) or whimsical (“I can’t wait to go on a trip together to the beach,” etc.). Allowing yourself to feel hope is important; it’s a reminder that this situation is temporary and there is a future worth working toward.
16. Day 16: Facing Your Fears. It’s natural to have fears – about the future, your spouse’s safety or well-being, or how this experience might change your relationship. What are your deepest fears right now? Write them out honestly. Sometimes seeing them on paper makes them a bit less daunting. Next, for each fear, jot down one thing that could help ease it. (For example, if you fear growing apart, perhaps scheduling regular calls or sharing thoughts through letters is something that helps you stay connected.) Not every problem has an immediate solution, but recognizing that you are taking steps, or identifying steps you can take, gives you back some power.
17. Day 17: What This Experience Has Taught You. Reflect on any life lessons or personal insights you’ve gained from navigating this challenge. Perhaps you’ve learned how strong you really are, or discovered who your true friends are. Maybe you’ve developed more patience, empathy, or advocacy skills (like understanding the justice system). Write about how, despite the pain of this journey, you might be growing as a person. This doesn’t mean you’d ever wish for this to happen, only that you acknowledge your ability to find meaning or personal growth in hardship.
18. Day 18: Letter to Your Past Self. Think back to the day your spouse was first incarcerated or the day you first learned this was going to happen. Write a compassionate letter to the “you” of that day. What do you wish you had known? What words of comfort or advice would you give her? You might reassure your past self that she willsurvive the coming days, that it’s okay to feel everything she’s feeling, and that she isn’t as alone as she thinks. This can help you recognize how far you’ve come.
19. Day 19: Unsent Letter to Your Spouse. Use today to write whatever is on your heart to your incarcerated spouse – without the intention of sending it (unless you choose to). Sometimes we hold back certain worries or anger when talking to our loved one because we want to stay strong or avoid upsetting them. In this private letter, pour it all out. You can express love, longing, anger, disappointment, hope – any and all of it. This exercise can be cathartic, releasing emotions you might be bottling up. (If you feel it’s appropriate, you could decide to share parts of this letter later, but the key is that it’s for your eyes first – a way to vent safely.)
20. Day 20: Setting Boundaries and Finding Balance. Juggling life while your spouse is in prison can be exhausting. Are there any boundaries you need to set or adjustments to make to protect your energy? For instance, maybe you need to limit how much prison-related talk you have with certain people who are negative, or carve out time each week where you don’t focus on prison at all and just do something for you. Write about what an ideal balanced week would look like for you. How can you ensure you’re not neglecting your own needs? Remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
21. Day 21: Embracing Acceptance. There are many things about this situation you cannot change. Today, reflect on the concept of acceptance. What parts of this reality have you struggled to accept? (Maybe the length of the sentence, the changes in your lifestyle, etc.) Now, consider how practicing acceptance in those areas might help ease your mental burden. Acceptance doesn’t mean you approve of what happened or that it isn’t unfair; it means you acknowledge what is so you can focus energy on what you can control. Write about how you might find a bit more peace through acceptance – e.g., “I can’t change the past, but I can control how I support my partner and myself from here on.”
22. Day 22: Recognizing Your Resilience. Think of one particularly hard day or moment in this journey where you weren’t sure you’d get through it – but you did. Describe that experience and how you managed to keep going. Maybe it was the day of the sentencing, a canceled visit, or a holiday apart. What did you do to cope in that moment (even if you simply woke up the next day and kept breathing)? Writing about these moments reminds you of your own resilience. You have endured dark days and found light again. Give yourself credit for that strength.
23. Day 23: Personal Goals and Growth. It’s important not to put your life completely on hold. What are some personal goals or projects you would like to work on during this period of separation? They could be anything – finishing a degree, taking up a new hobby or exercise routine, saving money, or doing something creative. Write about why this goal matters to you and one step you can take toward it. Focusing on your personal growth is not only good for you, but it can ultimately benefit your relationship too, as you’ll be growing into an even stronger partner.
24. Day 24: Forgiveness (If and When You’re Ready). Do you feel the need to forgive someone in order to heal? Perhaps your spouse (for choices that led to this), yourself (for anything you regret in this situation), or others you feel have wronged you both. If you’re not ready to use the word “forgive,” you can instead explore what it would take to let go of some of the anger or bitterness you’ve been carrying. Write about what forgiveness means to you in this context. How might releasing resentment lighten your load? Remember, forgiveness is a personal process and you set the timeline – this prompt is simply to explore your feelings around it.
25. Day 25: Sources of Hope and Faith. What gives you hope during the hard days? Do you draw strength from faith or spiritual beliefs, from the thought of reunion, from the support of others, or from your own inner determination? Write about the things that light your path in dark times. You might include favorite inspirational quotes, prayers or scriptures that comfort you, or encouraging words someone gave you. By identifying these sources of hope, you reinforce them in your mind – a helpful boost for when you need encouragement.
26. Day 26: Advice to a New Prison Wife. Imagine someone new is about to go through what you’re experiencing – her partner was just incarcerated. Based on what you’ve learned so far, what advice or words of comfort would you give her? Write out a short guide or letter to this imaginary friend. What would you tell her about handling the emotional ups and downs? How would you suggest she cope day-to-day? Often, in giving compassion and advice to someone else, we realize we have that wisdom for ourselves too. You might find that this “advice” is exactly what you need to remember as well.
27. Day 27: Reflection on Your Journaling Journey. You’re nearly at the 30-day mark. Take a moment to reflect on this journaling process itself. How has writing each day affected your mood or perspective? Do you notice any changes in how you approach your feelings or challenges? Look back at some of your earlier entries – do you see growth or shifts in emotion? Write about what this practice has meant to you. If some techniques or prompts were particularly helpful, note that. This reflection can help you decide how to continue journaling or otherwise caring for your mental health going forward.
28. Day 28: Your Proud Moments. In a situation that often makes people feel powerless, it’s crucial to acknowledge moments you are proud of yourself. List a few proud moments or achievements (big or small) from the last month or two. Maybe you handled a frustrating prison bureaucracy issue calmly, or maintained a loving tone in a tough phone call, or simply got out of bed on a day you felt like hiding. After listing them, pick one and describe it in detail, including how it made you feel about yourself. You are doing so much more than just “waiting” – you are living and growing, and that’s worth recognizing.
29. Day 29: Self-Compassion and Self-Love. Being the wife of an incarcerated person can come with unjust stigma and a tendency to be very hard on yourself. Today, focus on self-compassion. Write about the qualities that make you a good person and a loving partner. What do you deserve, and why do you deserve kindness (from yourself as well as others)? You might list affirmations like “I am strong,” “I am loyal and loving,” “I am doing my best and that is enough.” If you’ve been feeling any shame or self-doubt, respond to those feelings on paper as if you were talking to a dear friend – with empathy and encouragement. Remember that you are more than this one role; you are a whole, worthy individual.
30. Day 30: Envisioning the Future. It’s the final day of this 30-day journey. Close your eyes and envision your life in the future – say, a year or a few years from now. Picture the best realistic scenario you can: perhaps your spouse is home or closer to coming home, or if the sentence is long, imagine the rhythm of life where you’ve found some peace and routine. What does daily life look like? How do you feel emotionally? Write about this vision in detail. Let it be as hopeful as you’d like. End your entry with a message of hope or a commitment to yourself. It could be as simple as “No matter what, I will keep going and cherish the love we have.” This finale is about affirming that you have a future – one that you will shape with your strength, resilience, and hope.

Conclude this 30-day challenge by congratulating yourself. 🎉 

You’ve shown up for yourself every day, and that is no small feat. As experts highlight, journaling regularly is a healthy habit that can continue to help you manage stress and emotions beyond this month. You might choose to repeat these prompts, find new ones, or simply free-write as needed. The key is that you’ve established a practice of self-reflection and emotional release, which is so valuable in this journey. Always remember: you are not alone in what you’re feeling, and taking care of your mental health is an essential part of supporting your loved one. By strengthening yourself, you’re also strengthening your relationship in the long run.