By the day after Thanksgiving, the holiday bustle has passed, and you or your incarcerated partner may feel a “holiday blues.” It’s natural to feel a letdown after Thanksgiving. One psychologist notes that the constant images of happy families at the holidays can make separation feel especially painful. In fact, research shows that separation from family is the largest factor in holiday depression for prisoners. Use Nov 27 to practice self-care and honest communication:

• Acknowledge the feelings. Talk about the tough parts of Thanksgiving being over. You might write (in a letter or eCard) “Thanksgiving felt different this year. I missed you a lot.” Simply admitting, “We both feel lonely,” can reduce shame and remind you that you’re in this together.
• Maintain routines. Combat blues by sticking to normal schedules: get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise if you can. Prison Fellowship advises that healthy habits like a good sleep routine and walking outside can lift mood. Encourage each other to share what self-care you’re doing. For example, pledge to do a morning walk on the phone together or exchange favorite songs.
• Reach out for support. If you’re feeling low, call a friend or family member and then call your partner. Let others know you’re having a hard time – you’d be surprised how many will listen. Also, arrange a positive connection: plan a funny video chat or exchange memes to lighten the mood. “Maintaining a connection…supports both partners’ emotional needs” so reach out even if you’re unsure.
• Write a mini “survival plan.” Use our eCard prompts to draft a “post-Thanksgiving pact.” One idea: each write one thing you’re grateful for from Thanksgiving (e.g. “I’m thankful for our strength together”) and one thing you’re looking forward to (e.g. “I promise we’ll laugh about this holiday next year”). Putting these on paper or in an eCard turns the blues into concrete hope.
• Plan something small. Having something to look forward can help. For instance, plan a shared movie night over video, even if it’s just watching a Christmas cartoon at the same time. Or decide on next week’s call theme (maybe both wear festive hats!). Giving structure to your connection keeps spirits up through the holiday comedown.

Remind yourselves: what feels tough now won’t last forever. By being intentional about your emotions and support for one another, you turn a lonely day into one of mutual care.