A new year is dawning, and with it comes that familiar mix of emotions – especially when the person you love is behind bars. On New Year’s Eve, the world celebrates with confetti and countdowns. But for those of us separated by incarceration, the moment can feel bittersweet. You might find yourself smiling at the hope of a fresh calendar, yet fighting back tears because you’re not in each other’s arms at midnight. If your heart feels both heavy and hopeful right now, that’s okay. It’s more than okay – it’s human.

Entering a new year apart is emotionally complex. You’re grateful to leave another hard year behind, proud of the resilience you and your partner have shown, yet anxious about the unknown ahead. Maybe you made progress together in 2025 – sharing daily letters, celebrating small wins like a completed class or a healthier routine. You’ll carry those positives forward. But there were also painful moments: missed holidays, lonely nights, the ache of an empty chair at family gatherings. It’s normal to want to leave some of that hurt in the past. Hope and heartache can hold hands as the calendar turns. One doesn’t cancel out the other. In fact, feeling both means your love is alive and real. It takes strengthto hope through the hardship, and you’ve been doing exactly that. That strength – your strength as a couple – is what makes you resilient together, even across the distance.

Setting Intentions: What to Carry, Release, and Build

Amid all these mixed emotions, one way to find focus is to set shared intentions for the year ahead. Rather than traditional resolutions (which can feel overwhelming or unrealistic when prison walls limit your plans), try a simple activity you can do together, even while apart. Each of you can write one sentence for each of these three prompts: something you’ll carry forward, something you’ll release, and something you’ll build in the new year. This exercise isn’t about big achievements or fixing everything; it’s about understanding each other’s hopes and mindset as you both step into 2026.

• Carry Forward: Write one sentence about a positive lesson, habit, or source of strength from last year that you want to carry into the new year. (For example, maybe you’ve grown more patient or started a nightly phone-call ritual that you value. Commit to keeping that going.)
• Release: Write one sentence about something you want to let go of from last year – perhaps a fear, a grievance, or a negative thought that’s been weighing you down. (It could be anger at the situation, guilt you’ve been holding onto, or anything that doesn’t serve your well-being. This is the time to say, “I’m releasing this from my heart.”)
• Build: Write one sentence about something new you want to build or nurture in the coming year. It might be a personal goal, a skill to learn, or an aspect of your relationship to strengthen. (Maybe you want to build healthier communication habits, start an exercise routine and swap progress notes, or work together on a shared project or plan for the future.)

Take your time with these. Once you’ve each reflected and jotted down your three intentions, share them with each other. You might send them in a letter, almost like a New Year’s gift tucked in an envelope. Imagine your loved one opening your note and reading those heartfelt lines – it’s a way of saying “I’m bringing these hopes into the year, and I want you to know and share them with me.” If writing by mail isn’t timely enough, discuss your intentions during a phone call. Even a short New Year’s call can become special if you each trade your “carry, release, build” intentions. And if you’re lucky enough to have a visit around New Year’s, consider sharing these sentences in person. You could even write them on a small card and swap cards during the visit, so you both have a tangible reminder of each other’s hopes.

However you choose to exchange your intentions – by letter, phone, or in the visiting room – the goal is to step into the new year in sync. You’re showing that even apart, you’re still a team with a shared vision. This simple ritual can bring a burst of genuine connection. It says: We acknowledge the past, we face the future together, and our love is guiding us through. In that moment, you’re not just two individuals weathering another year; you’re partners resiliently moving forward as one.

Strengthening Your Bond with Communication Tools

Starting a new year with intention also means having the right tools and support to keep your relationship strong. Honest communication and regular emotional check-ins are the backbone of staying close through incarceration. To help with this, Chapters & Chains has created a couple of gentle guides specifically for couples like you, designed to support your emotional well-being, shared planning, and relationship strength.

One resource we’re proud of is our Beyond the Walls: A Couples Communication Guidebook. We developed this workbook for prison relationships to foster deeper connection and understanding. Inside, you’ll find reflective prompts you can answer together (through letters or during calls) and exercises for handling the tough stuff – like talking about trust issues, misunderstandings, or future worries – in a healthy, constructive way. There are sections to help you both explore feelings of grief or hope, set shared goals, and even practice a bit of “emotional literacy” as a couple despite the distance. Working through a page or prompt from the guidebook each week (or whatever pace suits you) can become a new joint routine. It’s a way to ensure you’re not just exchanging “I miss you” but also diving deeper, continuing to learn about each other and grow together. By making these guided conversations a habit, you’re actively tending to your relationship – keeping it strong, resilient, and forward-looking.

We also provide a free downloadable Conversation Starters PDF (check out our previous post!), which is a handy tool to spark meaningful dialogue. Think of it as a cheat sheet of thoughtful questions and evidence-based prompts that you can slip into your letters or bring up on calls. It even includes timing tips – suggestions for which kinds of questions work best in a quick 10-minute call versus a long Saturday visit, for example. Sometimes, when we talk to our incarcerated partner, we fall into the same routine: How was your day? What did you eat? I love you, I miss you… These check-ins are important, but they can start to feel repetitive. This Conversation Starters guide is designed to transform those routine letters and calls into more meaningful exchanges. It might prompt you to ask things like, “What’s a memory that always makes you smile?” or “What’s something small that kept you going this week?” – questions that help you both open up and reminisce or dream, rather than just report on daily life. By using a prompt or two when you write or speak, you invite fresh stories and deeper feelings into the conversation. You may be surprised by what you learn about each other, even after years apart. And most importantly, you’ll both feel more heard and understood. (To get this free PDF, keep an eye on our website – we love creating little tools like this for our community.)

None of these tools are about fixing your relationship (there’s nothing “broken” about love that endures hardship!). Instead, they’re about supporting you. Think of them as gentle guides or conversation partners that you can lean on. When the days get routine or communication feels strained, these resources give you a spark – a way to center your attention back on each other. Every time you pick up the guidebook to answer a prompt, or pull out a question from the conversation starter sheet, you’re saying “Our relationship matters enough to put time and care into it.” And that intention alone can make all the difference.

Finally, as you navigate this new year, remember to celebrate the small victories. Every letter sent, every phone call that ends in laughter, every moment of understanding – those are wins. Intention isn’t just about big goals; it’s also about appreciating each step you take together. Some weeks will be hard, and that’s when tools like a quick conversation prompt or a journaling exercise from the guidebook can help the most, giving you a way to share when you’re not sure how. Other weeks you might feel optimistic and connected, and you can ride that momentum to dream and plan for the future together.

As this year begins, take a deep breath and acknowledge how far you’ve come. You and your partner have already weathered storms that many couples never face. That’s nothing short of remarkable. The calendar is turning, and with it comes a chance to reaffirm your commitment in new ways – through shared intentions, open communication, and mutual support.

No matter what 2026 brings, one thing is certain: you won’t face it alone. You two are a team, resilient together against the odds. The distance between you does not define you; the love and determination you share do. So here’s to a new year filled with strength, love, and intention. May you carry forward all that’s good, release what no longer serves you, and build something beautiful, hand in hand, heart to heart.

Happy New Year from all of us at Chapters & Chains. We’re cheering you on – today and always.