Support takes energy. When someone you love is incarcerated, you may feel pressure to give all of yourself, all the time. But you are not their only lifeline. You are one person doing your best. Here are five ways to stay present in your relationship without running yourself into the ground.

1. Keep a themed eMessage day

Pick one day a week. Give it a theme. You don’t need to write a full letter. A short message is enough.

Some ideas:

• Monday Motivation (send a quote and a few words of encouragement)
• Throwback Thursday (share a funny or sweet memory)
• Friday Fire (send a flirty one-liner or a song lyric)

Pick a day that works for you and stick to it. It creates structure without pressure.

2. Make a monthly playlist

Choose 10–15 songs. Keep it simple. You can base it on a mood (calm, hype, romantic) or a theme (summer, your relationship, one artist).

Tell your loved one the title of the playlist and the artist names. They can request those songs through the tablet if they have music access. You can listen to it on your own too. It creates shared energy without daily effort.

3. Send a small photo batch once a month

Choose 3–5 new photos. Print them all at once. Don’t wait until you have “enough” or something big happens. Regular photos are better than perfect ones.

If you’re on a tight budget, try Flikshop or order prints from Walgreens or CVS. Mark one day on your calendar for “Photo Mail.”

4. Use a shared journal prompt

Pick a prompt each week and both of you answer it. You can write it in a letter or send it through eMessage. Or work through Beyond the Walls with your loved one!

Ideas:

• What’s one thing you’re proud of this week?
• What’s something you want to learn?
• What makes you feel loved right now?

You can also make your own list. Print it or handwrite it. Keep the tone light but open.

5. Share a book

You don’t need to read it at the same time. But you can send short summaries or quotes from a book you’re enjoying. It gives you both something new to talk about. Reading builds connection, especially when other things feel limited.

Easy-to-recommend titles that work well in prison:

• The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
• Letters to a Young Brother by Hill Harper
• As a Man Thinketh by James Allen
• The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
• Monster by Walter Dean Myers
• The Pact by Sampson Davis, George Jenkins, and Rameck Hunt

Ask what your loved one has access to. Build a shared list. Keep track on paper or through your eMessages.

Final note

You do not have to be available 24/7 to show up. These five ideas take less than 20 minutes a week. Spread them out. Let them replace guilt with rhythm. Your love is enough, even when you’re tired.