Setting New Year’s Resolutions With Your Loved One in Prison

As the clock strikes midnight on New Year’s Eve, many of us see it as a chance for a fresh start—a moment to reflect, reset, and create goals for the year ahead. When your loved one is incarcerated, setting New Year’s resolutions together can be a powerful way to stay connected, foster growth, and support one another on your individual journeys.

Here’s how you can make the process meaningful and collaborative, even if you’re miles apart.

Why Setting Resolutions Together Matters

Strengthens Connection: Sharing your goals allows you to feel like a team, even when distance separates you.
Encourages Personal Growth: Resolutions can help both of you focus on positive changes, giving you something hopeful to work toward.
Builds a Support System: Knowing you’re working on resolutions together makes it easier to stay motivated and accountable.

How to Create Resolutions Together

1. Reflect on the Past Year

Before jumping into resolutions, take a moment to reflect.

Ask Questions: What worked well for you this year? What challenges did you face?
Celebrate Wins: Acknowledge both small and big achievements—whether it’s staying connected, completing a program, or simply making it through tough times.
Learn From Challenges: Discuss what you can do differently this year to make things better.

💡 Tip: Share your reflections through letters, phone calls, or during a visit.

2. Focus on Realistic and Achievable Goals

It’s important to set goals that are attainable given the limitations of incarceration.

For Your Loved One:
- Participate in educational or vocational programs.
- Practice mindfulness or develop a daily journaling habit.
- Strengthen relationships with family members through regular letters or calls.
For You:
- Dedicate time for self-care each week.
- Learn a new skill or hobby.
- Advocate for prison reform or join a support group.

💡 Tip: Choose one or two goals each to avoid feeling overwhelmed.

3. Create Shared Goals

Working on shared resolutions can deepen your bond and give you a sense of teamwork.

Examples of Shared Goals:
- Write letters to each other weekly or monthly.
- Plan and prepare for visits, making them as meaningful as possible.
- Read the same book and discuss it in your letters or calls.
- Work on a creative project together, like a collaborative poem, story, or drawing.

💡 Tip: Think of goals that nurture your connection and bring positivity to your relationship.

4. Break Goals Into Manageable Steps

Big resolutions can feel daunting, so break them down into smaller, actionable steps.

For example, if your loved one wants to improve their health, the steps might include exercising for 10 minutes a day, cutting down on unhealthy snacks, or practicing meditation.
If your goal is to advocate for prison reform, start by learning about local organizations, signing a petition, or attending a virtual event.

💡 Tip: Celebrate progress along the way—it’s not about perfection, but persistence.

5. Stay Accountable Together

Accountability is easier when you have someone cheering you on.

Share updates regularly through letters or calls.
Encourage each other during setbacks and celebrate milestones, no matter how small.
Remind each other of the “why” behind your goals when motivation dips.

💡 Tip: Consider keeping a shared journal or log to track progress.

Overcoming Challenges

Dealing With Setbacks: Life inside and outside of prison can be unpredictable. If something derails your goals, adjust without guilt. Progress is what matters.
Staying Motivated: On tough days, remind each other of the bigger picture—growth, connection, and hope.

Examples of Resolutions for Couples With Incarcerated Loved Ones

Write at least 12 letters to each other over the year.
Read and discuss one book every quarter.
Share one positive affirmation or uplifting message during each phone call.
Learn a new skill—one inside and one outside—and share updates on your progress.
Plan a long-term goal together, like preparing for their release or creating a family vision for the future.

A Fresh Start, Together

The new year is a time for hope and intention, even in the most challenging circumstances. Setting resolutions with your loved one allows you to nurture your bond, support each other’s growth, and focus on brighter days ahead.

💙 Remember: Resolutions aren’t about being perfect—they’re about moving forward, together, one step at a time.

What resolutions are you setting with your loved one this year? Share your ideas in the comments below!