How to Handle Social Judgment About Your Relationship

Affirmations and Tips for Loving Out Loud—Even When Others Don’t Understand

There’s a unique kind of courage it takes to love someone who’s incarcerated. Not just because of the distance or the challenges—but because of the judgment.

You’ve probably heard it all:

“You could do better.”
“Why would you waste your life?”
“It’s not a real relationship.”

Whether it comes from family, coworkers, or strangers on the internet, the stigma around prison relationships can feel heavy. But here’s the truth: their opinions don’t define your love—or your worth.

You get to decide what matters in your life. And you don’t need permission to love someone fully and fiercely, even if the world doesn’t approve.

1. You Don’t Owe Anyone an Explanation

People love to ask questions they’d never want to answer themselves. Remember: you don’t have to explain your relationship to anyone who isn’t offering real support. You’re allowed to say:

“That’s personal, and I’d rather not discuss it.”
“We’re happy, and that’s enough for me.”
“Thanks for your concern, but we’re good.”

Let silence be your boundary. You don’t need to justify what they’ll never understand.

2. Practice These Affirmations

Say them. Write them. Repeat them. Let them be your armor when judgment starts to sting.

My love is valid, even if it doesn’t look like theirs.
I don’t need approval to feel confident in my choices.
This relationship is real, committed, and worthy of respect.
I deserve support, not shame.
I am strong enough to love out loud.

3. Know the Difference Between Concern and Control

Sometimes people claim they’re “worried about you,” but really, they’re trying to control your choices. Concern comes with compassion. Judgment comes with shame.

If someone is genuinely worried, they’ll listen to your perspective and speak with love. If they’re only shaming you, it’s okay to step back from the conversation—or the relationship.

4. Build a Circle That Gets It

Not everyone will understand. That’s okay. But you do need people who get it—who see your love without question marks or warnings. Find other prison wives or justice-impacted individuals who walk a similar path. Online support groups, podcasts, and advocacy communities can be lifelines.

You’re not alone in this journey, even if it sometimes feels that way.

Love Is Still Worthy—Even When It’s Unconventional

You don’t have to prove anything to the outside world. Your relationship may face challenges, but it also holds deep loyalty, connection, and hope. And that is something worth protecting, not hiding.

So the next time someone gives you that look, remember:
They don’t know your story.
They don’t carry your heart.
And they don’t get to write your ending.