When Everyone’s Moving On but You’re Still Waiting

On Weddings, Vacations, Baby Showers, and the Life You Thought You’d Have by Now

You scroll past the engagement photo.
Another baby bump announcement.
Someone just posted their anniversary dinner, all smiles and candlelight.
And you? You’re staring at a collect call timer. Writing another letter. Budgeting stamps instead of plane tickets.

There’s no easy way to say it: loving someone in prison while the world keeps spinning can feel like a quiet kind of heartbreak.
Like you’re stuck in a season that never changes while everyone else blooms.

The Grief No One Talks About

This life comes with an unspoken kind of grief. It’s not always loud or obvious. Sometimes it creeps in slowly—watching cousins get married, friends plan vacations, coworkers gush about holidays. You smile. You nod. But deep down, you’re asking yourself:

“When is it my turn?”
“Will I always be waiting?”
“What if life keeps passing me by?”

These are valid questions. And no, you’re not selfish or ungrateful for feeling them. You’re human. You’re carrying a love that doesn’t get celebrated in public, all while navigating the pressure to perform like everything’s fine.

When Comparison Creeps In

It’s easy to look at what others have and assume they’re doing life “right” while you’re doing it “wrong.” But Instagram and reality rarely match. Everyone struggles in ways you can’t see. And more importantly—your path isn’t broken, just different.

You are building something real. It may not look like a wedding or vacation right now, but it’s loyalty, resilience, and deep emotional connection. That matters. It is not less—it is just unseen.

When People Don’t Get It

Well-meaning friends or family might say:

“You’re wasting your best years.”
“Why don’t you find someone else?”
“He can’t give you what you need.”

And it hurts—because they only see the walls, not the love. You don’t have to explain your relationship to anyone who isn’t listening with an open heart. It’s okay to protect your peace. It’s okay to create space between you and people who make your journey feel smaller than it is.

What You Can Do

You don’t have to put your life on hold to prove your love.

Make your own milestones. Celebrate your relationship in private ways that feel special to you.
Plan your future out loud. Dream together in letters, on phone calls, through playlists and “someday” lists.
Create joy without guilt. Take that weekend trip with your friends. Go to the wedding. Dance. Laugh. You are allowed to live while waiting.

A Reminder for Your Heart

You’re not late.
You’re not behind.
You’re not forgotten.

You are building love under the hardest conditions—and you deserve softness, support, and a life full of meaning.

This season may be long, but it’s not forever.
And when your person comes home, they’re coming back to someone who never stopped growing.

💌 Want help staying connected while you build a full life outside?
Check out the Couples Communication Guidebook for letter prompts, emotional check-ins, and ways to strengthen your bond—while still focusing on your own growth.

Because you don’t have to put your life on pause to prove your love. You just have to live it with purpose.